Embracing Change: The Journey From Comfort to Growth
There鈥檚 a lot going on in our post-pandemic world for students. While life is slowly returning back to normal, students still face stressors around academic achievement, relationship issues, financial struggles and mental health challenges.
To open up the conversation and broaden our mindset, our theme for this year鈥檚 President鈥檚 Fundraising Breakfast for Mental Health is From Comfort to Growth. We spoke with Thea Comeau, Assistant Professor, Psychology, to share her insights on the importance of this year鈥檚 theme.
Thea says that having a clear set of principles and values helps us to navigate the complexities of life. 鈥淚t’s important that students develop a value structure, a way of sifting through what you care about 鈥� then when you are facing mental health struggles or hard times, you have something to lean into.鈥�
Thea explained that a value helpful to her is keeping a learner鈥檚 mind. 鈥淭his is a value I like to hold onto if I encounter a failure, or something I can no longer continue to do. For example if someone planned to run a marathon but broke their leg, they can use a learner鈥檚 mindset to cope with that. It involves a willingness to take on new challenges, and embrace mistakes and setbacks.
Thea is passionate about helping others to identify their own value structures, and during the Breakfast for Mental Health, attendees will be treated to a demonstration to find their value system. 鈥淎fter the breakfast, I hope attendees have a takeaway skill that they can continue to use over time.鈥�
Embracing the ups and downs
Due to stress, anxiety, trauma, overwhelm or a skill deficit students might struggle with tasks at school or life situations. 鈥淲hen they鈥檙e thwarted or there鈥檚 a block against the direction that they want to go 鈥� the idea of falling off track is something I often talk to students about,鈥� says Thea.
Students shouldn鈥檛 worry if they fall off track, because life is not meant to be linear 鈥� there are meant to be ups and downs and that鈥檚 where growth lives, says Thea. 鈥淎 psychotherapy writer I look up to claims that the role of psychotherapy is to help people expand their capacity for choice 鈥� this is why values are so important 鈥� if you value kindness, you always have a choice that leads to kindness.鈥�
How we talk to ourselves is also a choice, says Thea, 鈥淚 tell students you can鈥檛 control if a professor is going to give you the grade you want, but you have control over whether you will learn from their feedback and schedule your time studying better.鈥�
It may take presence and mindfulness to know if we speak to ourselves in helpful or unhelpful ways. 鈥淚 always tell my students, negative thoughts are like vapor. It鈥檚 not like somebody comes and yells in your face, it鈥檚 like a vapor that invades your mind 鈥� so your job is to check your vapor,鈥� Thea explains.
鈥淵ou are not weak because you are struggling, there is nothing wrong with you because you are struggling. There is a lot on your plate as a student.鈥� 鈥� Thea
We don鈥檛 have to be like Sylvester Stallone鈥檚 character in Rocky, but we can push a little harder. It can be one molecule in your body that says 鈥業t will be better tomorrow.鈥� It doesn鈥檛 have to be this big Herculean effort, be gentle on yourself,鈥� Thea adds.
Grasping for straws can make all the difference
In times of crisis Thea uses the analogy of grasping at straws. 鈥淥ne of the realities of depression is it steals that part of the brain that thinks we have opportunities. So, I like to normalize the process of grasping at straws for students. I say to my clients, the straws don’t always work, but I expect the act of grabbing at the straws to work.鈥�
On campus we need to have a lot of straws for students to grab at. Relationships with faculty, with administrators, peer support networks, opportunities, clubs, courses,鈥� Thea explains.
Faculty have limits on their time, skills and capacity, but during Thea鈥檚 time at CUE, she said she never met a faculty member who has limited their compassion.
鈥淓very faculty member I鈥檝e met at CUE is incredibly caring; they care about students鈥� well-being and want them to thrive.鈥� 鈥� Thea
Thea advises faculty and staff to access that caring part of themselves when talking to students. 鈥淭hey might not always feel they have the right words 鈥� but caring is an amazing strength. We have staff here that can provide a list of low-cost or no cost for students to go for help. I even have the distress line in my signature, so it鈥檚 easily accessible to someone who needs it.鈥�
Thea says expecting students to easily transfer from highschool to university is unrealistic. 鈥淲e need to shift our mindset and expect students to struggle, and for the ones doing well and who don鈥檛 need us – great. Students who are first generation university students often need extra support because they might not have family members to lean on for guidance.鈥�
Adapting to a new academic environment
Part of the joy of working at CUE Thea says is helping students who did not know university was possible. 鈥淔or students who may have had a harder time with high school we have to be proactive because they鈥檙e climbing a bigger mountain than the honour student who came in on tons of scholarships. Every student has their own struggles – but they鈥檙e all different.鈥�
鈥淚 would like to tell every student, It鈥檚 not hard because you鈥檙e bad at this. It鈥檚 hard because it鈥檚 hard.鈥� 鈥� Thea
Failure and growth go hand-in-hand
This is why the theme for our breakfast From Comfort to Growth needs to be reinforced. Thea says, 鈥渟tudents need to learn that your classmates succeeding or failing has nothing to do with your success or failure. They鈥檙e unrelated outcomes.鈥�
Part of moving from comfort to growth is trying new things, and Thea says 鈥淚t鈥檚 important to not just wonder if you鈥檙e good at it, but to ask yourself 鈥楧id I have fun?鈥� If I skied poorly down the mountain but I had fun鈥hen mission accomplished. Just trying something and getting over the fear factor is a massive success 鈥� how good you are is inconsequential.鈥�
Student Life and Learning offer a holistic approach to addressing both mental health and academic challenges. Their site offers many resources to help students manage their well-being and achieve their academic goals.
Please come out the Breakfast for Mental Health on May 4, 2023 to learn more about finding your values, and discover principles to guide your decisions and actions, and remember for many students just coming to this breakfast is stepping out of your comfort zone 鈥� and you are bound to have fun and learn something new!